What do Marshawn Lynch, Rush Limbaugh, and Comic-Con have in common? Find out in our latest edition of TWEEKED – Best Tweets of the Week!
Best Tweets of the Week for July 13-20, 2012
I hope jocks don't find out about Comic Con because I don't think SD has enough toilet bowls for the amount of swirlies they will dish out.
@seanoconnz
sean oconnor
I don't know who this "Shawty" lady is, but she apparently has a lot of rapper boyfriends.
@itsWillyFerrell
Not Will Ferrell
They truly are the dirty white tank tops of this generation.
Just saw a guy with a Great Gatsby tattoo reading The Great Gatsby. It's like, we believe you.
@eliyudin
Eli Yudin
I gotta say, The Cantina Bowl is the most disappointing item I've ever had at Taco Bell. Who's runnin' the ship over there, soccer moms?
@DadBoner
Karl Welzein
Movie Pitch - Mark Wahlberg plays a tough guy from boston and we'll figure the rest of it out as we go.
@ChrisCubas
Chris Cubas
Just saw a guy getting jumped. I was going to help him out, but he was wearing Crocs.
@RealChris_Rock
Chris Rock
My cat ate her breakfast then vomited it all up. I'm a little worried about her health but she does look awesome in a bikini.
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauley
Heard my mom use the word "bromance" and it felt like a knife to the gut.
@IamEnidColeslaw
Mary Charlene
Brody Jenner would understand.
When I say, "I love your face tattoo" I actually mean, "You didn't earn that for killing anybody did you?" Also, "I'll take a Chai latte"
@jennyandteets
Jenny Mollen
Lol RT @KimKardashian: Keep your life in a positive perspective. We are not defined by our pasts.
@RayJ
RayJ
I don’t mean to brag but I have to admit I do make parenting look pretty hard.
@JimGaffigan
Jim Gaffigan
I bet this guy hates it even more.
Santana: "What's something smooth?"Rob Thomas: "The ocean! Under the moon!"Santana: "...we can use that til we think of something better."
@AaronFullerton
Aaron Fullerton
Looking to update my wardrobe does anybody know where gang members get those airbrushed tee shirts they wear to funerals?
@EireannDolan
EireannMichaelDolan
Earth Wind and a Carelessly Tossed Cigarette Out The Window #EarlierVersionsOfBands
@ZachsMind
ZachsMind
Bad Luck Brian must not have jumped in the right spot. (And there’s no way that chick is landing a back flip):
Tempur-Pedic Wine Glass Test
One time I smashed my face into the keyboard and accidentally wrote the 4th Twilight book.
@autocorrects
Funny Tweets
My favorite Pearl Jam song is the one where Eddie Vedder is all 'mmslhd mmsmmhmm dmm tllmm'
@Kyle_Lippert
Kyle Lippert
Why am I on my porch grilling steak in my underwear? Stop asking so many questions and just enjoy the show.
@PaulyPeligroso
Pauly Casillas
The Olympics is a collection of sports not played seriously since television started.
@rationalists
CJ Werleman
My dad gave my girlfriend "Alvin in the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" as a bday gift...just so you know where my relationship is at.
@JakePlunkett
Jake Plunkett
I wonder how many nerds returned home from COMIC-CON to learn their parents had rented out the basement.
@CharlieBonomo
Charlie Bonomo
Marshawn Lynch arrested for DUI after washing his Skittles down with 8 beers.
@FauxJohnMadden
Faux John Madden
The producers of #TheBachelorette certainly know their way around a candle store.
@JasonBiggs
Jason Biggs
Oh you found a logged in Facebook account? Tell me more about how awesome you are at hacking
@WiIIy_Wonka
Condescending Wonka
.@rushlimbaugh You should read up on Bane. He's an oversized drug-addict with anger issues who's been popular since the 90s. You'd love him.
@ChaseMit
Chase Mitchell
Rush Limbaugh said ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ villain Bane represents a deliberate attack on Mitt Romney since he shares the same name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran (Bain). Never mind that Bane was introduced almost 20 years ago by DC Comics.
Haven’t you heard? Fanny packs are NOT just a fad.
When I finally fall in love, I want there to be fireworks (& another person).
@MrsRupertPupkin
lauren caltagirone
There's gotta be one guy at every Westboro Baptist church activities meeting who's like, "I think we're getting a little off track here."
@KarenKilgariff
Karen Kilgariff
Pretty sure all the Step Up movies are made by an intern with a studio credit card no one is keeping track of.
@albz
albertina rizzo
If you watch Hoarders backwards it's about this terrible company 1-800-GOT-JUNK that fills peoples' houses with garbage & rotten food.
@drewtoothpaste
drewtoothpaste
Just planted a bunch of dead horses on the set of THE NEWSROOM. Fingers crossed!
@thepatrickwalsh
Patrick Walsh
Yeah, good “Luck” with that.
I've found there are actually some very talented drummers on subway platforms that hate having their buckets kicked onto the train tracks.
@EliTerry
Eli Terry
unfollow me if you truly believe that top gun is a better jet movie than iron eagle. if top gun is so great, why didn't they make 4 of them?
@danieltosh
daniel tosh
An organization made entirely of men that wear scarfs and sow badges onto vests won’t let gays join
@ixSEANxi
Sean Gabay
