By now you’re wondering if you’ll ever make it back home from this seemingly endless voyage across the ocean.

The sun is beating down through the holes on your tattered captain’s hat, and the seagulls flying above are beginning to look like hungry vultures. But don’t fear – you’ve got the smooth sounds of the Top 100 Yacht Rock countdown to keep you company. So raise that sail a little higher, and pour yourself some bubbly. We’re on the home stretch!

Have you read the other editions of the TOP 100 YACHT ROCK SONGS? Well, now’s your chance:

Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #91-100
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #81-90
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #71-80
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #61-70
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #51-60
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #41-50
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #31-40
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #21-30

The Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs of all-time continues with #31-40:

40. “Do That To Me One More Time” – Captain & Tennille

Real-life husband and wife duo, Captain & Tennille were such a sweet couple. Ahhhhh, look…they even bought matching dogs. So cute, guys.

They did everything together. They made beautiful music. They had their own TV show. And I’m also pretty positive they shared a yacht. Seriously, they were like the Osmonds, but on water, and well…not brother and sister.

So it’s no mystery why someone who’s nickname is “Captain” makes the all-time Yacht Rock list. Honestly, it should probably be named “Captain & Tennille” Rock, but that sounds stupid.

The only thing bad about Captain & Tennille was her gigantic mouth and HUGE smile. But hey, she’s married to “The Captain” – so how could she not be completely happy?

Listen to “Do That To Me One More Time” by Captain & Tenille.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you throw on your captain’s hat and nothing else.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

“Do That To Me One More Time” was featured in a 2001 TV commercial for Sprint. In the spot, Captain & Tennille perform on a football field while a team is practicing. The coaching assistant – who was not using Sprint – misheard “The coach wants a backup for O’Neil” as “The coach wants The Captain and Tennille,” and hilarity ensues.

Hopefully it turned out for the better because I hear “The Captain” had a pretty decent time in the 40-yard dash. HIGH MOTOR!

BEST LYRIC

“Do that to me one more time.
Once is never enough,
with a man like you.“

Ironically, Tennille filed for divorce from “The Captain” in January 2014, after 39 years of marriage. Sooooo, apparently “once” was enough.

39. “Stone Cold Sober” – Crawler

Not much is known about the mysterious group, Crawler, but apparently they’re famous enough to be put on some horribly Photoshopped version of Mt. Rushmore. They were actually originally called “Back Street Crawler” until their founding member and lead guitarist, Paul Kossoff, died from drug addiction.

Hmmm, perhaps if they had come up with “Stone Cold Sober” a few years earlier they wouldn’t have found themselves in this predicament.

Listen to “Stone Cold Sober” by Crawler.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when the harbor police cruise by for an alcohol check.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

“Stone Cold Sober” was never used in a commercial, but BYU should have used it to promote their being voted the “most sober” university for sixteen straight years.

I know, I know. So who won it seventeen years ago?

BEST LYRIC

“So let’s take advantage of
The freedom they gave us.
Pack our bags and
Get away from here.“

Hey, that’s fine, but just as long as the lead singer isn’t driving.

38. “Gypsy” – Fleetwood Mac

Don’t be fooled by the seemingly romantic dance sequence between Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham in the video for “Gypsy.”  The truth is that they HATED each other.

You see, Nicks and Buckingham had broken up about six years earlier, and bad feelings still remained. What makes this situation awesome – and also wonderfully awkward – is that the video director had NO IDEA about the well-documented and super cray cray love lives of the Fleetwood Mac band members. He recalls:

“People were pulling me aside saying ‘No no. Those two were together, and then they split up, and now he’s sleeping with her’. I got very confused, who was sleeping with whom.”

SOOOOOOO much confusion on the sleeping situation. But they…that’s how Fleetwood do.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you’ve crashed your boat on a deserted island, and your only company is your ex-girlfriend.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

“Gypsy” was the highest-budgeted music video ever produced at the time. It used several locations, and required many costumes and dancers. I’m sure they also had to throw a few bucks to Nicks and Buckingham to prevent them from killing each other.

“We weren’t getting along well then. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him; I certainly didn’t want to be in his arms, If you watch the video, you’ll see I wasn’t happy. And he wasn’t a very good dancer.” – Nicks

It was the very first MTV “World Premiere Video” when that actually meant something. Like, waaaay before Sugar Ray started making videos.

BEST LYRIC

“So I’m back to the velvet underground.
Back to the floor that I love.
To a room with some lace and paper flowers.”

As if this story wasn’t already awesome enough, two weeks before filming the video for “Gypsy,” Stevie Nicks had gone into rehabilitation for cocaine addiction.

The video shoot could not be rescheduled, and she had to take a break from rehab to film it. By the end of the first of three days, she was fiending so hard for some nose candy that a small bottle was discreetly brought to her.

“I think we would probably have gone on to make many more great videos like ‘Gypsy’ had we not been so into drugs.” – Nicks

Never change, Fleetwood Mac.

37. “Into The Night” – Benny Mardones

Benny Mardones would like everyone to know that “Into The Night” is NOT about him perving out over a 16-year old girl. They are clearly just friends.

Never mind all the clues from the music video. Look past the bearded man (aka HER DAD) who tells Benny to leave her alone when he knocks on their door. Ignore that Benny immediately sneaks around the house and creepily spies on her through her bedroom window, and then calls her on a pay phone and professes his love. And pay no attention to him sneaking into her bedroom with a MAGIC (what!?) carpet and then kissing her.

This is just a friendship, guys. Lay off.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you invite your best friend’s family for a boat ride and you see his teenage daughter in a bikini.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

Fox Sports Radio’s Tony Bruno may have used “Into The Night” as his nighttime show’s closing theme, but it was the Arizona radio station KZZP that really made this song famous.

KZZP featured the song during a “Where Are They Now?” segment, which led to renewed interest. A program director in Los Angeles added “Into The Night” to their set list, and radio stations across the country followed suit. A new version of the song was released, and this time it hit #20 in the United States.

The song was the only one to chart twice in the ’80s by the same artist, so just like Benny Mardones stalking your teenage daughter, he came back a second time after you already told him to “go away.”

BEST LYRIC

“She’s just sixteen years old.
Leave her alone, they say.”

When you go full Aladdin, I suppose it makes young love feel right.

NO! No, it doesn’t. Benny…leave her alone.

36. “I Wouldn’t Want To Be Like You” – Alan Parsons Project

Alan Parsons sure spends a lot of time chasing after someone he doesn’t want to be like. In fact, you could almost say he’s obsessed with hatred. But the real question is…hatred of who? or what?

The mysterious dark figure could be one of three things:

1) A Burn Victim, in which case, shame on you for hating burn victims. It’s not their fault. And stop trying to touch that guy’s face. The pain is probably excruciating.
2) A White Person in Black Face, and he should change the name of the band to the Alan Racist Project, or
3) A Robot, and of course he should hate them since they’re going to take over the world.

Thank you for saving the world, Alan Parsons, and for not being a racist. Anyway, you be the judge:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…whenever you drift past someone with a smaller yacht than you.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

“I Wouldn’t Want to Be Like You” is featured in the 2013 video game Grand Theft Auto V on the fictional Los Santos Rock radio station. It’s probably referring to all the prostitutes you’re running over on the sidewalks.

BEST LYRIC

“If I was high class,
I wouldn’t need a buck to pass.
And if I was a fall guy,
I wouldn’t need no alibi.”

I REALLY hope he’s talking about robots.

35. “How Much I Feel” – Ambrosia

“How Much I Feel” is probably the song equivalent of a man telling his wife that she needs to lose weight. And I’ll tell you how that conversation ends: not well.

There’s nothing worse than being hung up on a woman long after you’ve broken up, unless you’re in a new relationship while you’re trying to get over your old one.

Ok, that’s actually worse.

Listen to “How Much I Feel” by Ambrosia:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…the moment you cruise by your ex in the harbor and she’s partying on a bigger boat.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

Rapper Big Sean sampled “How Much I Feel” for his single  “All Your Fault” with Kanye West.

It’s up for debate if he was thinking about GLEE star Naya Rivera, or pop diva Ariana Grande, or probably neither.

BEST LYRIC

“There’s just something that I’ve got to say:
Sometimes when we make love,
I still can see your face.”

Greatest pick-up line ever.

34. “Rosanna” – Toto

Some say this song received its name from the actress Rosanna Arquette, who was dating Toto keyboard player Steve Porcaro at the time, but DON’T ask her that. She says it’s the question she hates the most along with “Hey, what was it like working with Madonna?” from her role in Desperately Seeking Susan.

Obviously she’s probably not the biggest 80s music fan, either.

Composer David Paich insists “Rosanna” was simply about one of his first high school sweethearts, but he just tagged Rosanna’s name on there because it just fit perfectly for the song.

Steve Porcaro and Rosanna Arquette broke up not long after this song was released. So, basically “Rosanna” is the song equivalent of getting a tattoo of a guy you just met last week.

Fun Trivia Fact: A young Patrick Swayze appears as one of the dancers in the video. If only Chris Farley could have snuck on the set…

Listen to “Rosanna” by Toto:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…after you’ve named your new boat after your girlfriend and it sinks on its first voyage.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

American Horror Story: Coven character Kyle Spencer is seen singing and dancing to “Rosanna” in a flashback.

Those must be some custom Beats by Dre.

BEST LYRIC

“All I want to tell you is now you’ll never ever have to compromise. Rosanna, Rosanna.”

Unless Madonna is interested, then there may be some compromising. Too soon?

33. “In The Air Tonight” – Phil Collins

Collins wrote “In The Air Tonight” about the anger he felt after divorcing his first wife Andrea in 1979. He was so devastated that he left Genesis for a short time as well. In fact, all of the songs on this album, Face Value, were at one time intended to be “messages” to his first wife in an attempt to lure her back to him.

However,  lyrics like “If you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand” aren’t the most romantic, so you can see why she was done with Phil.

Maybe if he just wrote her a nice letter and sent flowers instead?

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you silently cruise out of the harbor at three in the morning and gently slide the body into the ocean.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

[ryvl video_url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1o-NWNmQLM” auto_play=”no”] Miami Vice [/ryvl]may have the most claim to this song, but the best use came from 2009’s The Hangover. Mike Tyson appears in a hotel room looking for his missing tiger. When the main characters walk in, Tyson is singing “In The Air Tonight” as he air drums the chorus.

He also thinks they stole his tiger, so you know what happens next…

Surprisingly, Zach Galifianakis actually lasted longer with Tyson than Marvis Frazier did in 1986.

BEST LYRIC

“Well if you told me you were drowning,
I would not lend a hand.
I’ve seen your face before my friend,
but I don’t know if you know who I am.”

This famous line from “In The Air Tonight” actually turned into an urban myth. The story is that Collins watched as a man who raped his wife drowned right in front of him.

This is also more evidence why you should never get into a relationship with Phil Collins. Good call, first wife Andrea.

32. “You Can Do Magic” – America

“You Can Do Magic” is about a skeptic who doesn’t believe in love until he meets a girl who shows him it’s real. In other words, it’s about every guy in America (pardon the pun).

But love is not magic. Love is hard work, dedication, thoughtfulness and loyalty. You cannot simply snap your fingers and make someone fall in love with you. Loves requires a firm commitment towa…

Listen to “You Can Do Magic” by America:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…just before you make it disappear in an attempt to pull off the ultimate magic trick.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

The tune of “You Can Do Magic” was used in a commercial for Sonic Drive-In restaurants.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’d rather watch those two idiots sing songs about tater tots in their car than whatever that was.

BEST LYRIC

“You know darn well,
When you cast your spell, you will get your way.
When you hypnotize, with your eyes,
A heart of stone can turn to clay.”

Speaking of tater tots, that’s the EXACT same thing they say to me.

31. “Lovin’ And Losin’ You” – Dwayne Ford

Dwayne Ford is the classic tale of “what could have been.”

His classic yacht rock album “Needless Freaking” included a cast of talented musicians such as Steve Lukather, Jeff Percaro and Mike Percaro from Toto, and also mega-producer, David Foster.

This album should have made Dwayne Ford a yacht rock legend with the likes of Christopher Cross and Michael McDonald, but David Foster refused to acknowledge it and even threatened lawsuits against Ford for crediting him on the album. Foster wanted complete creative control.

Dwayne Ford credits Foster’s decision as the “most significant event in his life,” which is basically PC for “David Foster ruined my career.“

“I have no doubt that had David supported the album my life would be very different today.” – Dwayne Ford

Meanwhile, David Foster has brought us non-yacht-rock awfulness such as Christina Aguilera, Celine Dion and Michael Bublé.

Disgusting.

Listen to “Lovin’ And Losin’ You” by Dwayne Ford:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…after completing your farewell voyage and dock your boat…for the last time.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

“Lovin’ and Losin’ You”  was never featured in anything, but I think we all know who to thank for that.

BEST LYRIC

“And my eyes no longer see the rain.
It’s just another vision
To ease the pain.”

Dwayne Ford with the ultimate shower cry.

Check out the other editions of the TOP 100 YACHT ROCK SONGS OF ALL-TIME:

Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #91-100
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #81-90
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #71-80
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #61-70
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #51-60
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #41-50
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #31-40
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #21-30