What do you get when you mix 100+ dancers, complete lack of sleep, extreme choreography, and cruel judges? Why it’s the 2012 SYTYCD Las Vegas callbacks…AKA: Hell Week!

If you missed out on how these dancers made it to Vegas, read the SLC SYTYCD auditions here.

The SYTYCD Las Vegas callbacks are always my least favorite round of the show. It always proves difficult for most dancers, and we see some super talented individuals going home after they can’t pick up a new dance in an hour.

It doesn’t make sense to me. In just 4 days, they expect the dancers to successfully go through 8 rounds in front of the judges doing solos, hip hop, Broadway, jazz, group numbers, ballroom, contemporary, and then their final solos. It’s an intense week of tears, yelling, injuries, and most often hospitalization. Cat Deeley even promises that “not everyone will survive,” and although it sounds like some sort of Thunderdome introduction, it really just means that one wrong move and their dancing dreams will be crushed, and they’ll leave Vegas like so many people before them….broke, jobless, and on the edge of sanity.

Even though we lost some amazing dancers in these rounds, I consider the episode a complete failure for 3 main reasons.

1. There was no creepy comment from Nigel. Maybe his impending divorce had him watching himself, so that the video couldn’t be used in court by his wife as evidence against him.

2. Lil C was actually quiet and made sense, instead of spouting his usual non-sensical words in order to sound smart or deep. He did use his awful catchphrase “Buck,” which by now sounds like an old woman using the word “bling” – therefore losing all meaning and coolness.

3. Daniel Baker was hardly shown during the week’s performances. And America is worse for it.

As always, the choreography rounds proved too much for many of the talented pop n’ lockers, and many of them were sent home.

Hampton “the Exorcist” Williams – who made the judges cry every time he danced – left me feeling slightly dark and majorly creeped out. He humbly told the judges that the choreography was too much for him, and that he was going to leave. A classy move, considering Andre, part of the Dragon House crew, just left without even a goodbye or thank you. One of his crewmates, Boris, made it onto the stage for the judges, but failed miserably at getting even one move correct and was also sent home.

I was excited when Cyrus, the last remaining Dragon House crew member, made it all the way through the rounds and is most likely in the Top 20. He did have some difficulty in the Ballroom round, no shocker, but was more than willing to “dance for his life” to prove he should stay. Although the dancers, don’t actually get killed if they don’t prove themselves in their solos, a fact that can be disappointing in some cases, Cyrus did kill his solo and earned his spot in the top.

Along with promising the hip hoppers, we also lost preying mantis guy, who apparently should have practiced his hip hop instead of learning new glitter techniques. Bree “I’m a Mormon” Hafen and mother of two would have had an instant fan base.

Teddy “this is my third time making it to Las Vegas” Tedholm was cut once again and given the same “we need more growth” from you speech, when really they should just be kind and tell him to never come back.

Luckily Ted, has more sense than the judges and told the camera “see ya never”, which is either a sign that he won’t be trying out again, or that someone should be on suicide watch. Um…can someone please check on Teddy Tedholm?

Rachel Applehans, the “burlesque jazz” dancer who most likely just stayed in Vegas and got herself a job at the PussyCat Doll Tables in Ceasar’s Palace, was finally cut from the competition. Rachel was first cut after the Jazz round, but convinced the judges to let her dance for her life (again, in this instance I wish death was the punishment for bad dancing) by arguing that although she wasn’t as good of a dancer as the rest of the contestants, she was a star in her heart. Um? I’m pretty sure this dancing goddess thinks she is a star in her large cholesterol filled heart as well. She failed at her solo, once again using sex to get her through, and received some strong words from the classy Debbie Allen “put on more clothes and just dance.” Well said Debbie, now if only you were pounding a rhythm stick on the ground while you said it.

Danielle  “I Love Bacon” Dominguez, who in the jazz round first had to dance with the pouty hip hop dancer Shafeek, who complained the whole time, and left Vegas without his dignity…or his shoes. Danielle then helped out Rachel and was thanked with a swift kick to the head during the performance, and then sent to the hospital for 8 hours. No good deed goes unpunished.

Her hospital stay cut into the group practice and she never quite caught up on choreography and was sent packing after her group’s dismal performance.

Adrian, “I’m rocking the Justin Timberlake haircut circa 2000” Lee was cut after final solos even after making it all the way to almost Top 20 2 seasons ago. I wasn’t sad to see him go, I only wish that they had sent Alexa packing with him.

Alexa “Dead in the Eyes” Anderson, almost made it last year, and it looks like she will get through to Top 20 this year, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. She was scolded multiple times by the judges during Vegas week, with Tyce giving her my favorite lashing “I’m not enamored by your beauty anymore. I’m passed it” and “The lights are on, but no one is home.”

And it’s true. She’s boring, and like most pretty girls has relied on her looks – instead of emotion or passion – to make her dancing enjoyable. Assuming she makes it into Top 20, I don’t expect her to last long…and shame on America if she does.

I do love these 5 dancers, and I hope they make the Top 20:

1. Chehon Wespi-Tschopp: the hot ballet dancer from Switzerland.

2. Daniel Baker: the hot ballet dancer from Australia. I don’t need to say more. Trust me.

3. Cyrus: I think I’ve shown why he should make it.

4. Janelle Issis: the belly dancer, who has proven talented in all forms of dance, and unlike the belly dancer I once saw dance at a Moroccan Restaurant, has a phenomenal body and adorable smile. The male viewers will love her…well at least the ones who are into girls.

5. Amelia: The quirky jazz dancer who won me over last night after she danced for her life to the Main Title music from “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Atticus Finch would have been proud.

And since Nigel chose to let me down and NOT provide a creepy moment of the week, I will bestow that honor to this cringe worthy moment:

Witney and Lindsay: the two young ballroom dancers from UT spending some quality time together, in the hotel room, on the bed. Hef is watching ladies.