The Presidential Elections are over, and whether you agree with the outcome or not, one thing is for sure – everyone’s moving to Canada.
Ok, maybe not EVERYONE – just the people who really really hate Obama. And honestly, it’s just a very small percentage of the people who hate Obama. And even then it’s really mostly empty threats. So I guess what I’m really saying is no one is moving to Canada.
So what’s wrong with Canada, eh? (Get it…because that’s what they say there). It’s clean, they love syrup, their money is super colorful, and… … …you get the point. CANADA IS AH-MAH-ZING!
Of course, you know the thousandshundreds seven potheads who voted for Romney were already packing up their flannel shirt collection once they heard the news. And really it’s mostly because they think the Canadian flag looks like a giant marijuana leaf. But even they flaked out and either moved to Colorado or just stayed in Washington. (oh come on, just visit Western Washington University’s campus for 5 minutes and you’ll be like “oh…ok”).
But weed smokers weren’t the only “winners” on Election Day. This also marks the only time every four years that anyone cares about the state of Ohio. Now, Ohio don’t get jealous and say something stupid like “Oh yeah, what about Florida!” because everyone knows better. Florida has Disney World, great decent sports teams, Miami Vice, and tons of diversity (aka old people and Cubans). And last time I checked Lebron was playing for the Heat and not the Cavs. Yep…went there.
Mitt Romney put up a valiant fight and should be remembered for many things beyond the ridiculous – yet equally awesome – “binders full of women” comment during their town hall debate.
Romney, if anything, cast an intriguing spotlight onto Mormon culture and a religion that many people still knew nothing about [ insert outdated polygamy joke here ]. And yep, looking directly at you, Whoopi Goldberg.
And let’s not forget one of the best Romney moments of the entire campaign, and it wasn’t even by Mitt. I end with Josh Romney reminding us why he would have NEVER needed a Secret Service agent.
And here is a collection of the best 2012 Presidential Election tweets. We’ll see you in four years Ohio. Never change.
Everyone's excitedly watching TV news at 7 PM. We are all 82 years old.
I never watch the Presidential Debates for the same reasons I don't watch beauty pageants, those singing and dancing competitions, and most award shows — they're too predictable. Now, don't get me wrong … I definitely care about the elections and who the President is, but watching the process can…
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