If your name is Snooki, Lohan, Spears or even Jenner please step aside…there will soon be a new queen of worst mom in the world. Kim Kardashian is having a baby!
ISN’T THIS EXCITING!!! Proud mom-to-be Kim couldn’t wait to tell her bazillion Twitter followers the great news:
Want a red carpet look for New Year’s? Make sure you have the #KardashianGlow!
And no, “Kardashian Glow” is not that radiant, happy feeling a first-time mother has. It’s a tanning lotion.
But well, hey…maybe Twitter isn’t the proper forum to announce that you’re pregnant. Good for you, Kim – way to stay classy. I’m sure she wanted to send out birth announcements, or go on Ellen, or maybe make a video to share on the Internet.
(Ok, the third option might be a bad idea.)
No, instead she left it up to her husband baby daddy, Kanye West to announce it on stage during some terrible concert in Atlantic City. Would you expect anything less? The only complaint I had is why he turned the auto-tune off. EVERYTHING IMPORTANT SHOULD BE AUTO-TUNED, KANYE!!! That’s like Hip-Hop 101.
Not sure if Kim was mad about the announcement, but since she was already fine with Kanye getting rid of all her clothes then it’s safe to assume he did the right thing. Because we all know that this baby will never be as important to Kim as what she’s going to wear on the red carpet at the Source Awards.
There’s no telling what kind of father Kanye is going to be, but one thing is for sure – this pregnancy will always be second best in his eyes.
One thing is for sure: Kim’s entire Kardashian family is excited. Rob’s created a special pair of baby booties for his popular designer sock line, and her mom Kris already has photo shoots booked with Pampers, Gerber and Baby GQ.
Even her former husband Kris Humphries wished Kim all the best:
We're streaking... through the quad, into the gymnasium! #Brooklyn
And with that, I present to you the latest edition of TWEEKED! The best “Kim and Kanye are having a baby” tweets:
Oh good new Kim kardashian jokes
Kim Kardashian's pregnancy is proof the Mayans were off by about 9 months.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant, out of habit Antonio Cromartie just yelled out... "It's not mine!"
I don't think Kanye realised yet that he robbed his child of the opportunity to be the greatest rapper alive by giving it that bimbos genes.
Let's all make a pact that if any of us get access to a time machine, we go back & stop Kim Kardashian's sex tape from leaking.
Why isn't "Kim and Kanye are gonna make awesome parents!" trending?
That baby is going to cry in auto-tune.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant with a new reality show.
I hope Kim and Kanye dont try to combine their names and end up with Kony.
George Bush doesn’t care about half of Kim Kardashian’s baby.
Kim Kardashian's baby is still in the womb and has already shown more talent, personality & accomplishment than its mom.
That awkward moment when Kim Kardashian's baby asks her "mom, how did you become famous?"...
Kim Kardashian's baby is already famous for doing nothing. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Anyone surprised Kim and Kanye are having a child is obviously unfamiliar with The Book of Revelation
No word yet on whether Kim & Kanye's baby is a boy or a girl but sources close to the couple predict it will be a horrible person.
I hope Kim and Kanye are prepared for the inevitable "Who's Kimye?" question 5 years from now. #expectfollowups
Kim Kardashian's unborn baby is already richer than I will ever be
Boy or girl, it’s a safe bet that Kim and Kanye’s baby will wear a dress.
I sure hope .@ realizes she can't give away her baby after 2 weeks like she did w/ her cat.
So what you're trying to tell me is that Kim Kardashian isn't a virgin?
Think about how arrogant Kanye West is. Now think about a child fathered from his strongest, fastest sperm.
As the nation hurtles over the fiscal cliff, the media ask: what should Kim and Kanye name their baby?
Kanye will miss the birth because he will be running down the maternity halls telling the women their births aren't as good as Kim's.
Kanye West has already had "suicide doors" put on four custom made Maserati Minivans.
If I understand my genetics right, Kim and Kanye's baby will have brown hair, brown eyes, and half a talent.
Why would Kanye make a song dissing gold-diggers, only to date and get one pregnant?
its ironic how the only Kardashian that doesn't have a baby is the only one thats actually married.
I wonder if Kris Humphries knows his wife is pregnant...
Once Kim Kardashian had a mental breakdown over losing an earring in the ocean. Imagine her trying to raise a baby.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are having a baby?If you listen closely you can hear thousands of comedians rejoicing.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye are having a baby. If it gets all the recessive genes, it might actually be good looking AND talented.
The real shocker will be if Kim Kardashian keeps the baby longer than 72 days.
Congrats to Keeping Up With The Kardashians on your 18 season renewal
So relieved I don't know enough about Kim Kardashian or Kanye West to make a great joke. #stillmighttry
Now I have to live in a world where Kim Kardashian and Snookie have children
Most pregnancies last about nine months, or about four marriages in Kim time. #kimye
And once again in the Kardashian household, Khloe slinks away from the merriment to go eat her feelings.
Kim Kardashian's pregnancy test just read "$"
Thank you, Kim and Kanye, for giving everyone something to talk about tomorrow during awkward gaps in party conversation.
I never thought I'd say this: I feel sorry for Kanye.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Behold the most made fun of baby since Snookie's.
Once again, Kanye West has proven to the world how bad of a wrapper he really is.
kim kardashian and kanye west at a parent teacher conference. imagine that
Kim Kardashian's pregnant? Finally! Proof she's not a virgin!
I wish we could go back to last week when all anyone was talking about was Rob Kardashian's sock line.
Congratulations on not being the father of Kim Kardashian's baby, all black professional athletes.
Looks like Bruce Jenner is going to be a grandma again.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant. The terrorists have won. Like this:
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