Bachelor Breakdown – The Polar Bear Plunge

Remember when the residents of the Bachelor house used to actually get along and kind of be friends? I loved those times – when bros could be bros, and girls were only snotty to each other behind their back.

Seriously, what ever happened to this?

Pillow spinning? Yep, that’s some bro time.

It seems like when you put a bunch of desperate women in a house, and they are all courted by the same man, that friendships just don’t happen. And then throw in a girl like Tierra in the house.

We will get to Tierra and her crazy drama this week but first let’s honor our fallen heroes. [cue Hunger Games cannon blast]

A quick look at the Bachelorettes that left us…

Jackie was a third wheel on Tierra and Sean’s one-on-one date, and then took it upon herself to diss on Tierra behind her back.

I always find it interesting to see how the Bachelor strategizes his two-on-one dates. In this case it looks like he took a girl that he was probably going to send home soon (Jackie) and a girl that he knows he could send home at any moment (Tierra).

Some Bachelors use the two-on-one date as a nice way to send girls home. They try and save these girls from the embarrassment of not receiving a rose at the rose ceremony, but they definitely still want to send them packing.

Robyn got sent home in the rose ceremony. While I saw this coming, I am pretty bummed that she is leaving. Had she stayed I am positive that her and Tierra would have come to blows eventually. Credit to Robyn for calling Tierra out on her crap. The house needs a few more girls like her who keep it real.

Daniella was sent home as a surprise to nobody but herself in the most predictable rose ceremony ever. She reminds me of Ke$ha for some reason. So while her time on The Bachelor is over maybe she may have a future in being a terrible person making terrible music.

Selma – the most interesting Bachelorette ever – was sent home unexpectedly, but not before she disgraced her family and faith by giving Sean the most awkward kiss ever on national TV. Her parents are gonna be pissed when she gets home. Not only did she disgrace their culture by kissing Sean, but she did it in such an embarrassing way.

Sean made a huge tactical mistake when he called Sarah out in front of everyone and then sent her home immediately. His reasoning was that he didn’t feel right making Sarah sit around for another day to wait for the rose ceremony when he knew he was going to send her home.

So let me get this straight Sean, rather than make poor Sarah sit around in a five star hotel sipping champagne all day, you decided it would be better to single her out (which probably got her hopes up) and then send her home? Huge mistake. We all knew that he had a delicate situation on his hands and he botched it.

The proper way to kick her off would have been to invite her on a two-on-one date with Desiree or Lesley (someone who he is obviously going to keep). Then, he just acts nice the whole time until he has to make a decision. He explains to Sarah that he “just felt a deeper connection with the other girl.” This would have been the right way to send her home. Sean chose the worst possible way to do it.

Also, Sean’s conversation with Sarah reminded me a lot of this scene from Wayne’s World:

Top 3 Bachelorettes (in no particular order)

Lindthay ith thuper exthited to be in the top three! On her date to Glathier Nathional Park her and Thean got to thpend thome quality time together.

Desiree was pissed after she chugged a half a bottle of goat’s milk for nothing. After winning the challenge and getting quality time with Sean, he decided to invite the losers back to the party, thereby defeating the entire purpose of the challenge in the first place. I’m with Des on this one. Who do you think you are Sean? You think that just because you are The Bachelor you can undermine the concept of competition? I can sympathize with Des because in my experience, anytime you chug goat’s milk and you don’t get what you want it is a pretty terrible feeling.

Lesley got one of the one-on-one dates this week and went on a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park. Lesley is starting to look like an early favorite. She stays out of the drama and gets as much time with Sean as possible. If the other girls don’t step up this thing could be over soon.

Episode Highlights

Did anyone notice the foot tattoo??? Who gets a tattoo on the top of their foot???

After watching this clip over 20 times I have deduced that it is Lindsay with the foot tattoo. Which leaves me with three questions:

1) What would be the reason for getting a tattoo on the top of your foot? Were you forced to get a tattoo and didn’t want people to see it?

2) Was this a group thing where her friends all got foot tattoos?

3) What is that design?

Actually I have a lot of questions about Lindsay’s foot tattoo, and I need to hear the story behind it. In my opinion, this one quick camera shot tells us that there is a lot more to Lindsay than we might have thought.

And now that we are down to only six girls we are left with…

Who Is Most Likely To Go Home This Week

You pretty much have to give this to Tierra, but If I was betting I would put AshLee in this spot instead. Tierra attracted attention again when she went into shock after plunging into freezing water. Whether this was fake or not we may never know, but going by Tierra’s track record I am going to say that she staged the whole thing.

Which is actually good for Tierra because if she had really got hypothermia like Mr. Deeds then Sean would probably send her home:

Next week the group is heading out to a tropical island. I can only imagine what Tierra will come up with there. Shark attack? Kidnapped by pirates? At this point I wouldn’t be surprised with either.

I end with this awesome GIF of Sean before the polar bear plunge.