Over ten years ago, three women – Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight — went missing. They were one of the biggest news stories EVER in Cleveland (well, until Lebron’s stupid “Decision” thing). Yesterday, they were rescued by the greatest hero of our generation: Mr. Charles Ramsey. And yes, HILARITY ensues.

Charles Ramsey not only saved their collective lives, but he gave one of the most epic interviews of all-time:

You knew this would be great after his second sentence was “I’m eating my McDonald’s.”

From there, Mr. Ramsey describes the events of the rescue, his 911 call, oh…and also compliments the size of the kidnappers’ junk.

“My neighbor got some big testicles to pull this off, bro.”

The most insane thing is that it sounds like Charles was almost BFFs with the kidnappers, that he ate ribs and listened to salsa music with them. But good thing he looked past their blossoming friendship and recognized the most obvious warning sign of a potential kidnapping:

“I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms.”

Oh Charles Ramsey, you’re the best.

Here’s another interview, where he again mentions his McDonald’s:

If there’s not a Charles Ramsey toy in my kid’s next Happy Meal, I’m going to be very disappointed.

So, Antoine Dodson and Sweet Brown move over…the next autotune remix superstar has entered the building.

UPDATE: Thanks Internet…that was fast.