Imagine you’ve invited a few of your closest mustache-wearing friends over to your yacht for a little party. Your first question should be “What are we going to listen to?” because this ain’t no ordinary party. Well, for me, that’s fortunate as I play 666 casino classic games. Somehow, I manage to memorize some classical kinds of music.

No, this party has tons of expensive champagne and a bearded man lying in a hammock with a captain’s hat on. Don’t worry, though. Can you hear those sweet alto sax sounds in the background? Because we’re playing the Top 100 Yacht Rock songs of all-time. You’re welcome.

“So what is Yacht Rock?”

Yacht Rock is that smooth, mellow music that emanated from Southern California in the late 1970s and early 80s. It has long served as the anthem for the “yuppies” of the 80s, since they LOVE to listen to Yacht Rock as they cruise through the harbor on the way to meet their cocaine dealer. If you’ve ever visited the dentist or been in an elevator you’ve definitely heard some Yacht Rock.

Did you miss out on the other editions of the TOP 100 YACHT ROCK SONGS? Read them all here!

Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #91-100
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #81-90
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #71-80
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #61-70
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #51-60
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #41-50
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #31-40
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #21-30

So let’s cast off, shall we?

Here are the Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs #91-100 in the history of yacht-rocking (or something like that):

100. “Still the One” – Orleans

Don’t be confused by the five naked shirtless men of Orleans – these guys LOVE the ladies. Ok, maybe you should be a little concerned for the second guy over since he’s about an inch away from touching the first guy’s nipple, but whatever. Chicks dig hairy chests…particularly in the 70s.

“Still the One” was actually written by band member John Hall’s wife, Johanna, on a napkin at a restaurant. John wrote the music in about 15 minutes. This is ironic because the lyrics describe a man’s feelings for a woman with whom he has a long lasting relationship with. So basically the process for composing this song is kind of similar to buying your girlfriend a card and flowers the morning of Valentine’s Day – maybe you didn’t put a lot of thought into it, but it gets the job done.

Listen to “Still The One” by Orleans:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…just after your long-time girlfriend shows up for an afternoon cruise around the bay, even though you really wanted to go with the girl you met last week.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

ESPN used it in a commercial showing a super-jerky Philadelphia Eagles fan who sucks at relationships, or in other words…a Philadelphia Eagles fan.

However, the most famous use of “Still the One” goes to ABC in 1977, who used the song to celebrate the first time in its history it was the number one rated television network in the U.S. They did an elaborate music video featuring many ABC stars holding up their index finger in the “we’re number one” salute.

They followed up in 1979 using the same song and many of the same celebrities:

However, the people in the 1979 ad all turn the TV OFF and leave the house. Shouldn’t they be shown watching ABC instead of going outside? Well, at least they all got to meet Mork and Mindy and the cast of Happy Days at the park, so I guess that’s worth it?

BEST LYRIC

“We’ve been together since way back when.
Sometimes I never want to see you again.”

I’m getting mixed signals, shirtless guys.

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99. “Magic” – Pilot

If you ever hung out in your parent’s basement circa 1974 then you were definitely a) surrounded by lava lamps, b) doing drugs, and c) playing this song. If you’re still hanging out in your parent’s basement circa 2009 then you are a) kind of a loser, b) probably still doing drugs, and c) playing this song…but the Selena Gomez Wizards of Waverly Place version.

And yes, I know Flo Rida sampled “Magic” in 2009,  but trust me…you’re better off listening to Selena.

This song illustrates the tale of some guy who can’t seem to get himself out of bed because, TAA-DAAAA…that’s magic??? He just lies around and listens to music all day. I feel like the title of the song should be “Lazy” instead. Nevertheless, many Americans identified with “Magic” because it reached #5 on the U.S. Billboard charts in 1975, proving that many Americans were also HUGE stoners.

Listen to “Magic” by Pilot:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…at about 2 a.m. when your Uncle Jed wakes you up to go smoke some “Mexican healing herbs” he picked up during your yacht ride to San Diego. Suuurrrrre, Uncle Jed.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

There have been countless movies and commercials to use “Magic,” but the BEST goes to Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore in 1996. It’s the song that plays right after he taps in the winning putt for the Waterbury Open.

Just taaaap it in. Tap. Tap. Tap.

BEST LYRIC

“It’s magic…you know –
Never believe it’s not so”

ILLUSIONS! It’s “illusions…you know.”

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98. “Tourist in Paradise” – The Rippingtons

Rippington’s founder Russ Freeman loves to name his songs and albums after exotic places, and that’s what makes “Tourist in Paradise” so fitting. However, don’t be fooled. The real leader of the group is the band’s blue, sunglass-wearing “Jazz Cat” who appears on all of their album covers. I’m really hoping they didn’t see Paula Abdul “Opposites Attract” and decide it was a good idea to include a cartoon animal in the video.

Because nothing says a good time on the water like bringing your cat on board.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…the moment that ONE girl comes out of the cockpit in her bikini. This is what plays in your head.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

If you’ve ever watched the Weather Channel for more than five minutes, you’ve definitely heard “Tourist in Paradise.” They play it during the Local on the 8’s forecast segments, so it’s probably one of your grandparents’ favorite songs.

BEST LYRIC

“Ohhhh uhhh,
Bb-ba-ba-baby baby baby.”

Basically, anything that Jazz Cat says.

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97. “We Just Disagree” – Dave Mason

On the outside, “We Just Disagree” might seem like a non-confrontational break-up conversation between a couple that simply wants to part ways and just be friends.

However, we all know that NEVER happens, so it’s most likely a way for the guy to tell himself that he wasn’t to blame or a way for the girl to get out of explaining why she’s already hooked up with half his friends. And why would any girl want to break up with a guy wearing a white polyester suit and a blood-red butterfly collar? Yep, I don’t know either.

Listen to “We Just Disagree” by Dave Mason:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you’re still two days from reaching dry land and you just ended a 5-year relationship with your girlfriend… … …who is also on the boat.

BEST USE IN POP CULTURE

We literally had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this one. “Grindcore” band Anal C – – t included a cover of this song on their 1997 album I Like It When You Die. I’m sure it’s tastefully done.

BEST LYRIC

“There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy.
There’s only you and me, and we just disagree.”

…says the guy at the end of a breakup, but the girl knows exactly who’s fault it was. **SPOILER ALERT** Not hers.

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96. “Afternoon Delight” – Starland Vocal Band

What started off as a tribute to the spicy happy hour menu at Georgetown’s Clyde’s Restaurant turned into a song about…well…the “spicy happy hour” in the bedroom. In fact, bandmembers Bill and Taffy Danoff immediately wrote the lyrics to “Afternoon Delight” one day instead of having a post “session” cigarette. If those original song notes were ever up for auction please remind me to NOT bid on them.

“If you don’t think this is the greatest song ever, I will fight you.” – Ron Burgundy

Eaaaaaasy there, Ron. However, the video is one of the most fabulous things I’ve ever seen in my life:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…whenever that couple you invited for a weekend cruise gets into the captain’s hot tub.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

Here are the best three:

• In PCU, when Jeremy Piven’s character locked the dean of his college in a room with this song repeating over and over again.
• In the TV series Arrested Development, where Michael and his NIECE Maeby choose this song for Christmas Party karaoke duet. Yes…his niece.
• In Anchorman, Ron Burgundy sings “Afternoon Delight” when trying to describe what love feels like.

And while the movie scene was fantastic, I prefer the music video:

BEST LYRIC

“Rubbin’ sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite,
and the thought of rubbin’ you is getting so exciting.”

This just completely ruined the Boy Scouts for me.

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95. “Shadows in the Moonlight” – Anne Murray

At first glance, multiple award-winning singer Anne Murray looks like your friend’s mom who decided to start a music career, or at the very least someone who went CRAZY at Glamour Shots. But don’t be fooled by her mom-ish charm, Anne Murray soared to #1 on both the Country and Billboard charts in 1979 with this hit “Shadows in the Moonlight” – so she apparently does a lot more than cut your meat and drive you to soccer practice.

In many ways, this song is the bizarro twin of “Afternoon Delight” since it describes a couple who can only meet each other late at night. So yeah, think again young “Johnny” before you sneak off to meet your girlfriend at 2:00 a.m. Mother knows.

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…apparently when it’s midnight and all the kids are asleep in their cabins. Drop the anchor and dance with me, Captain.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

There’s a 1934 short story titled Shadows in the Moonlight about Conan the Barbarian, so I’m shocked this song was never used on the soundtrack for any of his movies.

BEST LYRIC

“Hand and hand we’ll go,
dancin’ through the Milky Way.”

Kid: “MOOOOOMMMM, Johnny ate all of the Milky Ways!”

Anne Murray: “Shut up, Mom’s recording!”

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94. “The Things We Do For Love” – 10cc

When someone falls in love for the first time they almost always turn into the world’s biggest idiot. They might change the way they dress, buy a car they can’t afford – or if they’ve really fallen – even call someone. Well, at least that’s what songwriter Eric Stewart describes in the song lyrics. While living in Manchester he did not have a home phone, so he’d have to walk around town – sometimes in the rain and snow – to find a telephone booth to call his fiancé.

I know…this song could never be written today. Now if it’s snowing outside he’d probably just complain about how bored he was on Twitter and then send a pic of his junk to his fiancé on Snapchat.

How romantic.

Listen to “The Things We Do For Love” by 10cc:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when your wife or girlfriend drops their favorite hairbrush in the water and you’re asked forced to dive in after it.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

Amy Grant covered “The Things We Do For Love” for the soundtrack of the 1996 romantic comedy “Mr. Wrong” starring Ellen DeGeneres as the bride to Bill Pullman. It received a whopping 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, mostly because Bill Pullman played the ugliest-looking lesbian in the history of film.

BEST LYRIC

“Communication is the problem to the answer.
You’ve got her number and your hand is on the phone.
The weather’s turned and all the lines are down.
The things we do for love, the things we do for love.”

Not being able to call a girl – that’s true love, man.

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93. “Love Will Find a Way” – Pablo Cruise

This song is supposed to be about someone who’s thinking about moving on from a relationship, but is trying to convince themselves to stay. What they need to realize is that sometimes love DOESN’T find a way. Sometimes you’re just stuck with the guy wearing a Disneyland sweatshirt with a butterfly collar…and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, if you can’t love someone with a white man afro as amazing as lead singer David Jenkins’, then you can’t love at all.

Listen to “Love Will Find A Way” by Pablo Cruise:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when that same couple who always want to use the hot tub invites six of their closest friends on board.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

“Love Will Find A Way” was used in the short-lived TV drama Swingtown that included story arcs involving open marriages and key parties. I’m not sure “love” is the right word to describe that.

BEST LYRIC

“Oh, but it’s all right,
Once you get past the pain.”

…says every guy trying to convince his wife to attend a key party.

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92. “Wildfire” – Michael Martin Murphey

One look into the cold, blue eyes of Michael Martin Murphey and you can tell he’s experienced some deep, haunting pain. And what is this “Wildfire” that he sees in his dreams? Is it just a horse he longs to ride? Nay…it’s much more than that. Could it be that legendary ghost horse the Native Americans speak of? Is it the horse Jesus rides on from the Book of Revelations? Or is it simply a metaphor for lots and lots of cocaine. LOTS. Michael Martin Murphey DEFINITELY looks like a man who loves a little nose candy.

No, actually the lyrics describe a homesteader who hates farming because, duh, and has become obsessed with the ghost of some chick who died searching for her pony, “Wildfire”, during a blizzard. Or in other words, some chick who overdosed on cocaine.

Listen to “Wildfire” by Michael Martin Murphey:

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when your dog dies and you are about to bury him at sea.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

Late Night host David Letterman was so obsessed with “Wildfire” for several weeks in 2007 that he invited Michael Martin Murphey on to perform the song. Letterman guaranteed the audience would leave with a “palpable sense of … mysticism, melancholy … and uplifting well-being” when they heard it – to which the audience replied “Son, stay off the drugs.”

BEST LYRIC

“On Wildfire we’re gonna ride.
Gonna leave sodbustin’ behind.”

Not sure what “sodbustin” is, but it sounds miserable.

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91. “Angry Eyes” – Loggins & Messina

Loggins & Messina look like they’re having the time of their lives in this photo; almost like they’re on their way to find some buried treasure on a secluded island or filming a Bud Light commercial. I mean, just look at the way Messina gazes longingly into Loggins’ eyes. He’s not angry at him. No…those are eyes that say “Hey best friend, let’s go conquer the world together.” We can all learn something from Loggins & Messina.

In fact, I’m not sure why they chose to sing “Angry Eyes” since I simply don’t know who would possibly be THAT mad at them. Unless that yacht they’re riding on is stolen. Then I guess angry eyes are in order.

Listen to “Angry Eyes” by Loggins and Messina

BEST TIME TO LISTEN TO THIS ON YOUR YACHT IS…

…when you’re caught throwing a piece of trash in the water and the harbormaster sees you doing it.

BEST USES IN POP CULTURE

Although the song wasn’t used, Mrs. Potato Head made sure her husband was ready for anything when going to find Woody in Toy Story 2.

BEST LYRIC

“What a shot you could be if you could shoot at me
With those angry eyes.”

Anyone who’s made their wife angry knows exactly what angry eyes are.

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Check out the rest of the TOP 100 YACHT ROCK SONGS OF ALL-TIME:

Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #91-100
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #81-90
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #71-80
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #61-70
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #51-60
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #41-50
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #31-40
Top 100 Yacht Rock Songs – #21-30

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